Jun 17, 2010

File under "U"


Listening to the magic talking man in my dashboard on the way home this morning, I caught a little tidbit that made me cringe for society, and forced me to start looking for verification when I got home.

Apparently, this particular idiot in question injured her shoulder last month while walking her German Shepherd. I'm sympathetic to that to a certain extent; I've injured both of my shoulders over the years and they tend to hurt like a sonofagun and take a while to heal, and unless you have actually torn something, there just isn't a whole lot modern medicine can do for you. (R.I.C.E. is the usual advice!)

Regardless, this lady had been through a month of suffering without seeing appropriate care - because she has no health insurance. (Obviously she doesn't have the numbers for AD or MedicMatthew handy.)

So, like any logical person would do, she decided to force the issue. By shooting herself in the injured shoulder. Seems she figured an ER doc would be able to fix the shoulder while patching up the bullet hole.

Now, first, see above, about painful and slow to heal. Now add in a fast-moving hunk of copper and lead through one of the more complex joint and muscle arrangements in the human body, and you've got a pretty good start on a permanent disability. (I was going to say "permanent handicap", but it's obvious she's already got one of those.)

The bit on the radio this morning said she did this bit of self-mutilation with a .25. Not particularly noted for its effectiveness at - well, much of anything* - this must have been a factory error, with a double charge of powder or something ... because it went through-and-through. And somehow managed to miss every major/vital structure along the way. I'm truly mystified at how it's possible to shoot yourself at point-blank range - in the shoulder - and not hit something important. All I can guess is that she flinched when she pulled the trigger and somehow grazed the deltoid or bicep or something. (I wonder if she wore proper eyes'n'ears?)

Regardless, the doc tossed in a few stitches and released her shortly thereafter (probably via a long talk with the on-duty psych doc). To add insult to self-inflicted injury, the DA is considering charges for discharging a firearm within city limits.

And, all that said, the money quote:
"Myers says she wouldn't do it again and now is searching for a specialist who will accept a payment plan she can afford."

Maybe - just maybe - you should have considered this option BEFORE SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE BLINKING ARM?? But don't worry, folks - she will be provided for soon, thanks to The Won. After he's done kicking some ass. After he decides what ass to kick. Eventually. Maybe.

* - when a thug is more scared of your hot coffee than your .25ACP, it's a good sign that a larger caliber might be in order.

1 comment:

Tam said...

A truly cosmic (if not particularly funny) joke would have been if her little "through-and-through" had hit the axillary artery...

It would suck to bleed out just because one had watched too much TV.